Go Play Outside: In The Cold

It's been a while since I've written anything but, boy, things have been busy!

I've been wrapping-up the 2012 cleanup season at work. My husband has been working on finishing his houses before the end of the year. Our kids never stop moving and I spend all my non-working moments trying to keep up.

On mornings that I don't work, when I ask my (almost) 4 year-old son what he wants to do with his day, my favorite response is "go for a hike!" My kids love exploring outdoors and I've tried to offer as many opportunties as possible for them to do so. Living in the city doesn't have many built-in opportunties, which makes it hard. But it's not impossible. If we want to play outside--whether we're looking for a playground or the woods--there are a handful of great places within walking distance and a few within just a few minutes' drive. If I'm willing to go an extra 10-15 minutes, we can find a million places to explore.

With a few exceptions, this season has still been pretty warm. But I don't anticipate it staying warm all Winter! The trick to keeping kids happy outside in the cold? Layer-up, keep moving, and bring snacks.

Rather than wearing one huge, puffy jacket, invest in multiple layers of clothing that allow you and your kids the freedom to remove only one layer as the sun comes out or your body warms up. Bring hats, mittens, and wear a nice pair of wool socks. Kids who are used to being outside will usually be more adaptable than their parents, so you'll notice your kids become more comfortable in the cold as they get used to dealing with it.

On colder days, find something to do that keeps you all moving (like hiking) so your blood keeps flowing. You might actually be surprised how warm you get! Standing watching your kids play on the playground is sometimes a bore. Every once and a while, pick an activity that gets you moving, too.

As always, kids are very sensitive to hunger. Keep a few small, packable snacks in your pocket or backpack, as well as a bottle of water. If hunger strikes, and your child starts to whine, stop for a quick snack and then get moving again.

Get your kids outside now, while it's still comfortably chilly. You'll be thankful for the practice later, when it's really cold!



In the past few weeks, in addition to our normal neighborhood playground expeditions, we went to Sharon Woods. It was a chilly day, but we took a lovely hike around the lake, which we've never done. We've also been back to Lindner Park in Norwood recently, and we explored a new place in Florence, KY.

The other day, on our way home from running an errand, we visited a park on Linn St. in the West End. It's a tiny little pocket park perfect for my kids' age group. And there's a dinosaur!!

Enjoy the season and GET OUTSIDE!

Urbanism, Sub-urbanism, and why I’m tiring of the Streetcar debate.

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I’ve lived in Cincinnati for 8 years.

My first job was at Kaldi’s on Main Street in Over-the-Rhine. Those first few years, I spent a lot of time in the neighborhood. I met my husband there and we were married a few blocks away.

Our first apartment was in Over-the-Rhine.

We decided to plant our roots downtown for multiple reasons, many of which I won’t get into here. But, basically, we love Cincinnati and we believe that a strong urban core is the foundation of a strong city. There are other neighborhoods that we love, neighborhoods that might become our “home” someday. But, Over-the-Rhine was where our heart was.

The first two years of our marriage made me an “urbanite.”

We lived in a large, industrial loft space in a barely habitable old brewery building. Both of our work offices were a mile away. Our church was a mile away. I learned to shop on foot, in small trips. I got used to the sounds of street life. We got to know our neighbors. We learned the history of our city, the feel of the streets and alleys, the loom of the buildings as we walked by.

We didn’t do touristy, out-of-towner things in our neighborhood; we learned to live there.

When we first felt the call to purchase a home, we talked about multiple options, and multiple locations. I had one simple request: I must have either a walkable business district or lots of greenspace.

We tried to buy a monstrous estate on Dayton St. in the West End, but they refused our offer. (A friend bought it, instead.)

We looked into purchasing a dilapidated old estate tucked away in North Avondale on 2.5 acres, but they weren’t interested in us as much as we were interested in them. They wanted to “develop” the land.

We walked through a few homes in Betts-Longworth; we walked through a few in Mt Prospect.

And then we got an email from an acquaintance saying that he was selling his home in Over-the-Rhine and we called him right away.

The short version of the story is that the owner liked us. He liked that we are people of faith (like him). He liked that we were going to be raising a family in his old home, where he raised three children with his late wife. He liked that we are committed to a similar vision for the city as he had been for his 40+ years in the neighborhood. So, he reduced the price of his home to something we could afford and sold it to us.

That summer, we made the transition onto Orchard Street, which is perhaps the most beautiful street in the city. The house itself if a labor of love and a work-in-progress, but it offers plenty of space, room to grow, and everything an urban family could desire including a backyard (which will someday be functional as such).

I love our life in the city. I love the wealth of opportunities and experiences that it offers our children. I love the warmth of neighbors and passers-by. I love the architecture and parks and noise and lights. As a severe introvert, I love the ease of daily contact with other people, both friends and strangers, and the feeling of a city alive about me.

Living in the city is not always fun. It sometimes requires more work, especially with kids. So, I am sympathetic to those who say, “Oh! I could never do that!” And I am very sympathetic to parents who want a neighborhood where their young children can play outside unattended, where they can unload groceries from inside their garage, and where they don’t need to worry about issues like lead paint and air quality. And I believe that there are many legitimate reasons to live in sub-urban areas—closer proximity to family or work, for example.

There are times when my husband and I stare at each other from across the room and quietly suggest: Wouldn’t it be nice to park in front of our own house?

And we often dream together of leaving the city far behind and relocating to a rural space where our kids can be wild and reckless in the woods and come home at sunset with dirty hands and muddy boots.

But, at the end of the day, I am officially an urbanite.

And though some wild, faraway place may be in the cards for us someday, choosing against the suburbs is now a matter of principle for me, not simply preference.

What does this have to do with the infamous, polarizing issue of the Cincinnati streetcar?

It’s become pretty clear to me that Cincinnati residents are not only divided on the issue, but that no one is budging. We’re at an impasse and the only deciding factor at this point is that the public voted a majority of pro-streetcar City Council members in the last election, which is why the streetcar continues to move forward.

The difficulty of the debate is that one side sees the development of a streetcar system as a legitimate investment in the future of the urban core and the other side sees it as frivolous spending on a pet project—“a streetcar to nowhere.” These are ideological issues, not issues of preference.

Basically, we don’t simply live in different neighborhoods; we live in different worlds.

There are legitimate reasons to oppose the streetcar. Heck, I’m a Conservative! I understand the need for fiscal responsibility and responsible spending. But even a fiscal conservative believes in the importance of sound investments, building a future, and creating a foundation. And even the hesitant supporters—those who support pursuing the streetcar project at a future time, though not now—would agree that a project like the streetcar has the potential to strengthen the urban core, bring economic prosperity, and offer opportunity for further development.

The problem is this: the majority of those in opposition to the streetcar have a fundamentally different view of the urban environment, its infrastructure, and lifestyle, than do its supporters.

They see the city as a holding place for poor, homeless drunks and a recreational facility for wealthy yuppies. They do not believe that normal people actually live here. They do not believe that people with their level of wealth or education would choose to live here.

They do not understand the design of cities and do not share the vision of car-lite, rail-strong city. They do not care about the thousands of Cincinnati residents whose lives would someday benefit from affordable, convenient public transportation. (How other people find their way to home and work does not worry them, so long as those people don’t end up living in their neighborhoods.)

Their lives are dependent on cars and highways. They have not conceded the high costs (physical, social, and environmental) of car-dependent communities. They do not know a world without a 30-minute commute.

They do not share parking spaces, driveways, sidewalks, front porches, or front yards; of course they cannot imagine sharing transportation.

They are willing to invest billions of dollars in improving over-used highways and bridges surrounding the urban core, while neglecting characteristically urban transportation options which bolster urban life.

They do not see the streetcar as a sound investment because they do not believe that a pedestrian, urban life is a legitimate lifestyle choice of rational people (and families). So, they refuse to relinquish their control of the urban core to those who actually live, work, and play there.

And no one is going to change their minds.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a die-hard streetcar supporter. As I said earlier, I believe there are legitimate reasons to oppose—or perhaps postpone—the project.

But, I am an urbanite.

I believe that a strong urban core is the foundation of a strong city. And so I have to trust the history of cities and contemporary experts of urban design. They both agree that a streetcar system is a solid investment for our city.

So, I am tired of the debate.

We don’t simply live in different neighborhoods; we live in different worlds.

I have chosen to invest in a historically-significant shared built environment.

Many others took out a half a million dollar loan for a private, .25 acre plot of former farmland.

I have already said that there are legitimate reasons to choose a sub-urban lifestyle. But, to oppose urban development because you do not believe that there is fundamental, inherent value to the urban core of our city shows a complete lack of understanding.

The strength of our urban core is the only thing that makes your comfortable life in the suburbs possible.

And, until you believe that, we have nothing more to discuss.

And, by the way--

Stop calling it a “trolley,” for pete’s sake.

It’s a damn streetcar.

Check out this AWESOME blog.

I discovered a new(ish) blog a while back and am LOVING it. It chronicles a family's relocation to Manhattan and their adventures as they acclimate to city life. Not only do I love their style, but I absolutely love that they are a family of five!

Check it out: nyc taught me

The "F" Word.

Here in the Twenty-first Century, there are still a few taboos that our enlightened society can't seem to rise above. One of them: Faith.

This seems particularly true in areas like architecture and urban planning, where it's presumed that all "people of faith" have bad taste, are afraid of progress, hate cities, and want to live in McMansions in the suburbs. These stereotypes are not completely unwarranted; there are factions of the Christian faith that are in opposition to contemporary voices in culture and urban life. But this small percentage does not speak for the whole.

Faith is particularly taboo in the academic realm where students are told to check their religious lives at the door and, consequently, never have a chance to develop the relationship between their private faith and their career. (Check out Ben Stein's Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed for his perspective on how this plays out in the realm of science.) This produces a lot of young people who believe they have to choose between two things they are passionate about: their faith and changing the world.

Is it possible to have both?
Some of us believe so.

A friend of mine, an urban planner in a moderately large city, recently asked me how I navigate my work in the public realm as it relates to my faith. Her experience is that Christians (especially of the conservative vein) are, at best, a joke in the city planning world. Now, my work in community improvement is not nearly as "public" as her position with the city. But, she has heard me speak (and write) quite a bit about how my faith informs my views on politics, community development, and urban life. And she was curious how I manage being an "eco-friendly, urban, transit-loving, libertarian Christian" (her words--not mine) without feeling emotionally crushed while working with my peers.

A blog I frequent--Urbanophile--recently posted a link to an interesting podcast on this issue. You can access it here.

The basic gist of the podcast is this: historically speaking, faith has always been a prime motivator in public life, for progress and justice. So, why do we ignore this connection when training those to whom we entrust our public life?

There is a lot of discussion in Christian circles these days about urbanism and how the Church should address issues related to city life and urban culture. But, the secular arena doesn't seem very educated about the contemporary Christian perspective--and they definitely ignore the historic one.

I'm fairly new to the conversation and definitely don't claim to have all the answers for how faith and public life are supposed to intersect, but, I am convinced that I need not "check my faith at the door" in order to have something to contribute to the broader conversation.

And I would encourage any young, passionate "people of faith" to pursue the health of their faith and the welfare of their city.

Maybe we can have both.







"But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare." - the prophet Jeremiah, Old Testament.

45202 Families

Parenting in an urban area can be a little isolating.
90% of the peers you see on a daily basis are either child-less or live 20 minutes away. It can be hard to make friends and stay active in your own community.

But most of us are on Facebook these days, right?
A few weeks ago, I started a Facebook group for "45202 Families."I'm hoping this group will be a way to connect folks who live, work, or play downtown so we can share recommendations and plan events.

The group is "invite only," so let me know if you'd like to join!

And I'll try to get around to blogging again eventually...

Starting "School"

My son is 2yrs and 8 months old. He's super gregarious, energetic, and has a great sense of humor. He also corners the market on creative play these days. But, about a year ago, I noticed that some of my son's peers were surpassing him in learning things like "the ABC's," colors, numbers, and shapes. My son might be able to guide you on the mile long walk through the streets of Over-the-Rhine to the public library, but he can barely count to ten.

Many of my son's peers are learning these basic skills (counting, identifying letters, etc.) from either watching television or attending daycare/preschool. Since my son does not watch television, nor attend daycare, it's going to be my job to teach him.

We already read a lot. And we talk a lot in normal conversation about animals and colors and such. But, last week, we started our first official week of "school." And for the next eight months or so, we will spend 3o minutes, 1-3 days a week, learning basic preschool things--letters, numbers, shapes, colors, and lifeskills.

I'm really excited to share the experience of homeschooling in the city where it's possible to have a rich, exciting education, as well a socialization, apart from attending a standard school.

My son loved his first day.

Now I just need to prep for Day 2!

City Walks with Kids

I would love to see a book like this published for Cincinnati. We do, after all, live in one of the most walkable cities in the country!

the City Walks with Kids series, published by Chronicle Books

They Did Everything Right

Last week, news broke in New York City that an 8 year-old boy had been abducted, then killed and dismembered, after getting lost only blocks away from the place he was to meet his parents that afternoon. His error: he asked the wrong person for directions. That man took advantage of the situation and it ended tragically.

I’d rather not recount all of the details. You can read them for yourself.

As a parent raising children in an urban area, I am already well-aware of the perceived dangers of city life. I know that many of my peers, with children of the same age, think I’m nuts for planting our family here. And I will admit that I sometimes question this decision, as well, counting the cost of all the extra work my husband I and I have to do to keep our family safe and healthy in the city.

But the more time I spend here (we’ve lived in Over-the-Rhine for over three years now and I worked here for the three years before then), the more I am convinced that although there are certain dangers inherent to urban life, many of the dangers inherent to childhood transcend location. No matter where you plant your family, you run the risk of encountering danger. The likelihood of my children being abducted, breaking an arm, drowning in a neighbor’s pool, or getting hit by a car does not significantly decrease the further we are from the city. In fact, depending on where you live, some dangers will increase while others decrease.

On the issue of child abductions, some basic statistics:

• Family members account for the majority of these reported cases (82 percent)
• Non-family abductions account for 12,000 of these reported cases (18 percent)
• Of non-family abductions, 37 percent are by a stranger

Link: http://kidsfightingchance.com/stats.php

In more tangible terms, for every 100 children abducted, 82 are taken by a family member. 18 are taken by a non-family member. And, of those 18, only 6-7 of them are taken by a stranger. Call me crazy, but this says to me that, if your child is ever the victim of abduction, there is 93% chance they are abducted by someone you already know. And, the people you know will be the people you know no matter where you live.

And this is just one example.

As an aside, consider this: as soon as summer hits, the news is littered with tragic stories of children drowning in a neighbor’s pool. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a single property within two miles of my home that has a backyard pool. And the two public pools within those two miles are surrounded by high security fences and manned by lifeguards when open for business. So, this childhood danger is actually greatly reduced by living in the city.

The most tragic thing about the boy killed in Brooklyn was not that he was abducted, or that he was killed, or that it happened only blocks away from his intended meeting place. The most tragic thing for me, as a parent, is knowing that his parents did everything right and it happened anyway.

The family lived in an insular Orthodox Jewish community, a community where you’d assume residents were safe and adults were trustworthy. The boy was a month shy of 9 years old and had been begging his parents to allow him to walk home from summer camp alone. This was the first time they’d allowed it and they even walked the route with him, to insure he knew exactly where to go. Somehow, he got lost anyway. And when he stopped to ask for directions, the man he asked happened to be the one person within who knows how many miles who would take advantage of the situation.

I think about my hometown, in the SW suburbs of Chicago. And I think about the twelve or so blocks between my childhood home and my middle school. I think about the millions of times I must have walked that mile when I was eleven years old. And I think about how “safe” it seemed, even though it involved crossing multiple lanes of traffic in a pedestrian un-friendly area.

And then I think about my friend Karen’s home, in Blue Island, IL, which was a far cry from my suburban neighborhood only seven miles away. And I think about riding our bikes around her neighborhood when we were probably no older than ten years old. I think about the first drug deal I ever witnessed. And I think about the stories she told. And I think about the first time I drove through Blue Island as an adult and thought: I can’t believe her parents let us wander around this neighborhood alone!

But now I think I understand.

I think about my neighborhood. I think about the ten blocks between my home and the public library and I think: My son already knows this route and he’s not even three years old. Of course, by the time he’s ten years old, I would assume he’s competent to take this walk alone, even if I wouldn't yet allow it at that point.

The truth is, a good parent knows their child well enough to know when they are ready to “face the world alone.” And the best they can do is trust that they’ve given their child every tool necessary to take care of themselves on that walk down the block, then the walk around the corner, then eventually the walk down to the library. And when something goes wrong, if something goes wrong, chances are that it was nothing the parents could have foreseen and that they did everything right.

This is why it’s tragic when something terrible happens to a child. Regardless of what normal, natural, everyday thing they were doing when the tragedy happened, there is only so much we can do to protect them. And it doesn’t matter where they live. At a certain point, we need to allow them the freedom to take steps out the door alone.

I fear for my son’s life at least a dozen times a day. And my daughter, who is still about three weeks away from being born, is already stressing me out. But I know that, as they grow, the best thing I can do is provide the tools they’ll need to navigate this city without me. And the tools they’ll need here are different than the tools they’d need if we lived in the suburbs, but they are no more or less important. And my neighborhood is no more or less “safe.” It’s just different. The dangers are different. The people are different. The streets and houses and stores are different. And my children will be different because of it. (Heck, that’s part of the reason we’re here.)

The sentiment spoken at the boy’s funeral is perfect for the situation:

“He got lost, he got lost,” he said... “There’s nothing to say, he got lost. God wanted it.”

As a person of faith myself, I can understand what he means. For others, it’s a difficult thing to take in. But the sentiment is something we can all appreciate because it’s true: when something like this happens, there is often a simple explanation for how it happened. In this case, “he got lost.” I’ve been lost before. And you probably have, too. And it happens in the city and in the suburbs and on the hiking trail and in a foreign city. And sometimes you stop to ask the wrong person for directions and you end up more lost than you were before. Or sometimes it ends in tragedy.

Often times, there's simply nothing you should have done differently.

I hope that little boy's parents know that.

Ode to New York Kids

I found this today on Stroller Traffic. It's quite charming for those of us who have chosen the urban life for our children:

If You Can Make It Here... 100 reasons to raise kids in NYC


Now, I know that Cincinnati is no New York City, but what's your favorite thing about raising kids here? I gonna start making my list...

I Couldn't Agree More

I definitely haven't said much lately on this blog. Rest assured, it's not for lack of ideas or desire. I've simply been too busy and overwhelmed to sit down and write.

Until I get my act together and write something original, chew on this:

A great article, courtesy of good.is about the value of planning cities with families in mind.

Thanks, GOOD. I couldn't have said it any better.

Pitching a Tent for Magnet Schools

In Cincinnati, parents have the choice about where their children attend school. In the public school system, children can default to attending their neighborhood schools, or apply for enrollment in one of the magnet schools. Many of these magnet schools are designed around a specific educational pedagogy--Montessori or Paideia, for example--or a certain focus of education--foreign language or fine arts, for example.

The competitive nature of enrollment in these magnet schools is understandable. First of all, Cincinnati magnet schools are free for city residents. And because they are sometimes much higher ranked in academics and a bit more culturally refined than neighborhood schools, these schools are a great option for parents who would consider private or parochial schools if it were not for the price.

There is a catch.
Some of these schools are so desirable that they attract too many families. To keep enrollment manageable, CPS has developed a system that requires some pretty serious dedication from the family.

A recent story in the Cincinnati Enquirer covers the phenomenon of the CPS magnet school enrollment process:

"The magnet schools, which generally have high academic ratings and focus on specialties like foreign language or the arts, accept students on a first-come first-served basis. At most schools there is no problem getting in. But at Fairview and a handful of others, lines form days in advance."

I have mixed feelings about this "first-come first-served" policy.

On the positive side, CPS can rest assured that only the most committed families will enroll their children in these highly competitive schools. This obviously contributes to the high academic achievement of such schools, as well as the shared commitment to success. This policy also gives parents the opportunity to provide the best education possible for their children, regardless of financial restraints.

On the negative side, it's not an equitable policy. "First-come first-served" policies like this take a lot for granted. First, that all parents have the possibility of taking 3-5 days out of their lives to camp out on the school's front yard. Second, it presupposes that a child's worthiness in not inherent, but is dependent upon their parents' willingness to go to such lengths.

Another major inequality built into the policy is the way it effects the neighborhood schools. In this system, the children privileged enough to have parents willing to sacrifice for their children are the only ones offered an option outside of their own neighborhoods. Where does that leave the rest?


So, if this system is not an equitable system, what other option do we have?

I do believe that committed parents should be rewarded for their commitment. And I also understand that any parent who wants the best for their child would (hopefully) do whatever necessary to make it happen--i.e. make certain they can be in line when they need to be to secure that spot in their desired school. So, completely tossing out the policy doesn't make sense.

I guess one simple question is this: Why doesn't CPS reserve a certain percentage of the open spots for those who are not able to make it to the front of the line? It seems like this would make everyone happy. The parents at the front of the line would get theirs spots. And the folks at the back of the line would be entered into a lottery for the remaining slots.

Is this already happening?
Am I missing something?


And maybe there is another question to ask:
What is the point of magnet schools?

According to Wikipedia's article on Magnet Schools:

"Districts started embracing the magnet school models in the hope that their geographically open admissions would end racial segregation in "good" schools, and decrease de facto segregation of schools in poorer areas. To encourage the voluntary desegregation, districts started developing magnet schools to draw students to specialized schools all across their districts. Each magnet school would have a specialized curriculum that would draw students based on their interests. One of the goals of magnet schools is to eliminate, reduce, and prevent minority group isolation while providing the students with a stronger knowledge of academic subjects and vocational skills. Magnet schools still continue to be models for school improvement plans and provide students with opportunities to succeed in a diverse learning environment."

Can someone with more personal experience in the Cincinnati magnet schools tell me if this is working? My fear is that instead of desegregating the more under-served and impoverished neighborhood schools, magnet schools actually pull the most opportunistic families out of all of the neighborhood schools and leave even mid-income neighborhood schools culturally impoverished. The children who end up in the magnet schools benefit; everyone else suffers.

I don't know that I can offer any better solution to the problems in our public schools. I can understand a parent's desire to provide the best opportunity for their children, so I'm not willing to fault those who stand line for days to secure those coveted kindergarten seats.

My last question:
What would happen if, instead of hand-picking the best regional opportunities for our children, we invested our time and energy in our own neighborhood and community institutions, whether they be educational, cultural, or religious? How would the most disadvantaged children in our city benefit from this local investment by the parents of the most privileged ?

Perhaps what I'm suggesting is not the economic concept of the "redistribution of wealth" but, rather, the redistribution of educational opportunity.


As for our family, my husband and I have some crazy schemes for the education of our children. And I'm not ready to discuss them here. For now, I'm simply going to hope for good weather for those camped out on Clifton Ave, and pray for the welfare of the children whose parents won't show up, but who deserve something better than their neighborhoods can provide.

Opportunity Missed.

I'm disappointed that I just read about this event now, a few hours after it ended.

Urban Pioneers - The Cult of Personality

Did anyone go?
How was it?

Go Play Outside: Alone?

My son is not yet two years old, but I can already see that 1. he is a severe extrovert and 2. he loves being out of the house. So, what does this mean for his adolescent years, when the most natural expenditure of his energy will be to go outside and play with his friends--without my supervision?

I mean, seriously.
Am I willing to let my 10 year old son out in Over-the-Rhine to play, or to walk alone to library for that matter?

The issue of unsupervised youth has come up recently in the news, among friends, and in the parenting class we're involved with at our church. And now we're asking ourselves these same questions again.

When our son is ten years old, who will he play with?
Where will they play?
Will I let them play alone?

There is a lot of talk in parenting circles about the dangers of the modern world. And it's almost comical the steps some parents take to protect their children--everything from fairly benign re-designing of public playscapes to be "safer" for kids to the more ridiculous tracking their movements with GPS chips.

Thanks to some links from CityKin, I have been reading in on the conversations among radical parents across the nation who are defying the modern ideals of a "safe childhood" and are instead raising their children to be wise, independent, and self-reliant in the world. These particular folks call the movement "free-range kids," and have some great things to say about how ridiculous we've become in our quest to protect our children from the "dangers" of the modern world.

I am quick to admit that my husband and I do often question the wisdom of raising children in the city, mostly because of two issues: this apparent need for more supervision in an urban environment and the lack of greenspace and natural areas. But, we decided that the benefits of an urban lifestyle were worth combating these problems rather than allowing them to send us to the suburbs (where we know parents deal with the very same issues, anyway).

For families like us who believe that urban living is inherently better than a sub-urban lifestyle (for multiple reasons which I am always willing to defend, but cannot go into here) and want to know how to keep your children safe without going bonkers about every possible danger, I have a few suggestions:

1. Be realistic about danger.

We all know that life is dangerous, and that there are people and ideas and places that can hurt us lurking around every corner. But, the only real way your children will learn to combat danger is to face it with wisdom and discernment. And if your children are never exposed to uncomfortable or seemingly dangerous situations when they are young and are never forced to navigate their world alone as they grow older, they will never gain the skills in problem-solving and adaptation that will make adult dangers much easier to navigate.

2. Let go. Slowly.

Children who are locked in child-proofed homes or fenced in manicured backyards are given no opportunities to practice the art of trial and error. It is normal and healthy for children--even very young children--to make mistakes. Without falls and bumps and bruises, children never learn to navigate dangers or to correct their mistakes.

Now, there are obvious limits to the dangers we should allow our children to confront at a young age. This is why I say, "Let go. Slowly." But, let common sense be the guild as you allow your child's environment to get a little more risky all the time. Watch them closely for their first few years and you'll see how they naturally adapt to their surroundings and learn skills to confront new problems as they grow.

3. Let kids solve their own problems.

Some examples:
Once your child can climb up and down the stairs, let him. Even if it takes longer.
Once your child can open the door, ask him to open it for you.
Let your son get his own shoes. And put them on, if he can.
Let him figure out where he left his toy, instead of finding it for him.
Give directions and be patient as he tries to follow them. Don't help if he doesn't need help.
Let your child solve petty conflicts with friends on their own, without your mediation.

Allowing young children to clean up their own messes, entertain themselves, do their own work, and solve their own problems will pay off in dividends as they grow older. A child who is competent in his own little world will have an easier time navigating the world outside his front door. He will be more resourceful, more resilient, and more responsible. And since you have watched how competent he is at home, you will be more likely to trust this competence to help him outside of the home.

4. Have a lot of kids.

Now, I understand that most people don't want a dozen children, but hear me out on this. Having multiple children--i.e. built-in playmates--is great for urban living because if your 7 year-old daughter has two older brothers to take her to the park, she doesn't need you to do it.

And if having multiple children is not your cup of tea, you could simply make an effort to get to know other families in the immediate, walkable area. And if there are no other children nearby, or if you don't trust the other families nearby to be with your kids, then you could always start an intentional community. (I'm totally, 100%, serious about this, by the way. No creepy cult-talk intended.)

Basically, the "safety in numbers" scenario is a great way to calm a parent's worry and keep children safe.

5. Get outside.

By "get outside" I mean you should physically leave the house and get outside with your young children to explore your neighborhood. This is helpful for two reasons. First, the best way to decrease "stranger danger" is to have fewer strangers. If your child knows and is known by the local grocer, the woman at the bank, the postal worker, the librarian, and the guy who is always begging for change outside the library, then there will be five more sets of eyes watching him venture out into the neighborhood by himself some day. Stop worrying that everyone in your neighborhood might secretly be a pedophile and get to know them. Learn their names. Introduce your children. And learn what it means to actually be a community.

Secondly, this principle remains true for strange places, not just strange people. If you know your neighborhood, and spend time in and around your neighborhood with your children when they are young, they will know their way around as well as you do. They will know which intersections are busiest, which streets to avoid, which coffeeshops serve the best hot chocolate, and where to buy tissues when they get a bloody nose playing in the park. Teach them how to get to the police or fire station, the library, and the grocery store. Make your environment familiar to your children and they will be a million times more secure and discerning when on their own.



At our home, we are lucky to have a small backyard which will provide at least some opportunity for our young children to play alone outside in a confined environment. But, our small backyard will not be enough for a young boy who wants to ride his bike or organize an ad-hoc baseball game. So, I hope that by the time our son is old enough to venture out of the house by himself, we are ready to let him. And, even if I'm not ready, I want to make sure that he is.

What about you?
Where do you live?
Do you feel safe letting your children out alone to play?
Why or why not?


Food for thought:
Read this story about a radical "holiday" for kids.
Could you do it?


And check this out. Adventure Playgrounds.
Wow. I plan to write more about this, eventually.

Getting Around: Do I Really NEED a Stroller?

Before our son was born, my husband and I avoided much of the pre-baby purchasing craze. We purchased only a small percentage of those "must-have" toys, gadgets, and pieces of furniture and picked up the rest of what we actually needed when we discovered that we did, indeed, need it. Because we were prudent in our purchasing, we saved a lot of money and have less (comparatively) to store in the crawlspace until we decide it's time for baby #2.

But, all prudence aside, there was one item that I obsessed about for months: a stroller.

Up until the point I actually purchased our stroller (a month or so after our son's birth), I obsessed about which stroller to buy. I no longer noticed the cheery grins on the faces of babies in passing. Instead, I noticed only their stroller--the brand, the color, the style. And, I took mental notes of each stroller I'd actually seen in person, weighing the size and shape. And, of course, the price.

Some friends told me that a stroller was not a big deal: "Just get a cheap one; I barely use mine," they said. For some, that might be true. If you only intend to use a stroller at the mall, or for the occasional walk to the park, it really doesn't matter too much which stroller you get. But, for a parent who lives in a city and plans on walking a few miles a day, a stroller is a big deal. And because I didn't have a thousand dollar stroller budget like some parents in Park Slope or LA, I couldn't just order the latest hip-mamma stroller spotted in a magazine.


Like any niche market, the world of strollers is vast and becomes quickly overwhelming.

Things to consider:

Price- Is your budget $200 or $2000?

Age Range- Do you need a stroller that adapts to hold an infant carseat? Do you want a cot or full recline for a newborn? Do you want to be able to use it when your child is three years old? Do you need a stroller that can become a double stroller for the next child?

Size and Weight- Will it fit in your trunk? Can you lift it with your child in it if you need to navigate stairs? Can it maneuver on the sidewalk/between store aisles?

Other considerations- Is it practical for where you will use it? Where is it made? Are the tires better for flat surfaces or uneven surfaces? Does it fold up easily/quickly/with one hand? How well is it constructed? With what materials is it made? How large is the storage compartment? It the seat wide enough for your child? Does the seat seem comfortable for long walks? Does it have a warranty? Does it come with accessories or will you need to purchase other pieces separately? Can you use it with the infant carseat you've already purchased or registered for? Is the color scheme gender neutral to use with future children?

You may be thinking: Seriously? Does it really matter that much what stroller I purchase?

Take this into consideration: For the past 18 months, I've taken an average of 3 walks a week around downtown to run errands, grocery shop, visit the bank, etc. And if each of these walks averages about 3 miles, that's roughly 700 miles I've logged on my stroller so far. And, I intend to use it up until we have another baby, which adds many more miles to its lifespan.

Basically, my stroller is a tool that I will have used almost every day for 2-3 years. So, I'm thankful that I took my time picking out a stroller that was exactly what I needed, for what I could afford to spend.



On a personal note:

I ended up purchasing the Baby Jogger City Mini stroller and the infant car seat adapter, which allows the stroller to hold many of the most popular infant car seats. (I found a Maxi Cosi car seat at a discounted price online because it was in a discontinued color!)

The stroller is everything I'd hoped for. It's lightweight, sturdy, sleek, super easy to manuveur, and my whole "travel system" (stroller, adapter, car seat) only cost a total of $425. This might seem like a lot, but when you compare it to a moderately priced "travel system stroller" you can purchase at Babies R Us for $325, you're only paying $100 more for something that is about a million pounds lighter and a million times easier to use and travel with. (And a lot more attractive, if you ask me.) I'd say I made a heck of a purchase, especially considering the stroller I was really lusting after would have set me back an easy $900 for the entire "travel system."

For parents who don't have $1000+ to spend on a fancy stroller, I highly recommend the Baby Jogger series. Baby Jogger makes everything from hip, urban fashion strollers like their City Select (starting at about $500), to bonafide jogging strollers like their Performance Jogger which runs about $450. Mine is their mid-priced urban-use stroller. They have recently released a Bassinet/Pram accessory and a Glider Board for an older sibling to ride along, giving their single strollers an extended life. Many of their strollers can be purchased as a double stroller, and their City Select is a multi-use stroller for infants or toddlers and can be adapted to be a double stroller.




One large caveat is that big-box baby stores like Babies R Us don't sell many high-quality strollers, at least not in-store. So, in a Midwestern city like Cincinnati, it's hard to find floor models to test drive. My advice: visit every high-end baby store you can find within a reasonable distance and look at everything. Seeing a $1200 stroller in-person will tell you whether or not it's really worth your hard earned money. Likewise, test-driving a cheaper stroller that the manufacturer is trying to pass off as high-end may convince you that it's worth paying the extra $100-200 for the better stroller. (Hint: 3-wheels does not equal high quality.)

When you can't find floor models, you can make up the difference by doing a lot of online research. Read reviews. Read parenting blogs. And don't be embarrassed to stop a parent on the street and ask about their stroller. Chances are, if you see a parent using a high-end stroller, they would be happy to tell you about it and give a quick review.



In short, if you are not going to use your stroller a lot, then maybe a $100 stroller is a good idea.

But, if you live in the city and would rather enjoy your walks downtown, maybe reconsidering your priorities is a good idea. For us, it was a choice between purchasing "baby furniture" or a nice, attractive, high-functioning stroller.

I am very glad I chose the stroller.

Kids Not Welcome

Every time a new restaurant/diner opens downtown, and a friend tells me of their recent visit there, I ask a simple question: Did you see any kids or highchairs?


Most people, obviously, don't look for a highchair when they walk into a new place. But, from a parent's perspective, the absence of this simple object says one thing to me: Your kids are not welcome here.

I can understand a restaurant owner's fear of becoming a *gasp* "Family Restaurant," and I can understand that a toddler is not their primary clientele. But, I also know that there a very large number of young adults with young children who would love to be able to support these local businesses, but the businesses seem to not want their support.

Yes, I can still sneak in with my son and let him sit on my lap while we both try to eat. And, yes, a booster seat is a step in the right direction. But, a young toddler is much more likely to sit still if seated in a high chair. My son is very well behaved (and we know when our son is not behaving and it's time to leave). Heck, these business owners might actually like having us around!

So,

Dear Business Owners:

I support local business and I'd love to support yours. But, until you are willing to accommodate my small and well-behaved family, you'll be relegated to my "date night" restaurant list. This list is large and not often consulted for dinner plans. Maybe we'll see you (and you'll see our money) in a few years?

Sincerely,
Your neighbor.

(And don't even get me started on coffee shops and gas station bathrooms without diaper changing stations... ugh!)

Sharing Space in Urban Homes

It's a common deterrent for those looking at urban homes, condos, and apartments: "We just can't find a place big enough."

For those who live alone, are married and child-free, or cohabitate without children, this might not be an issue; one or two people can easily squeeze themselves into a small living space and get comfortable there for a long, long time. But, what about those of us with children? Not just that, what about those of us who want multiple children?

How can a large family (I'm talking about a family with at least two children) find a place that's affordable, while allowing each family member enough room to stretch their legs every once and a while?

Some options to consider:

1. Share your bedroom with an infant/toddler.

My husband and I lived in a loft apartment when our son was born and, therefore, ended up sleeping in the same room as our son for the first 18 months of his life. We started with a co-sleeper attached to the bed, then moved it to the wall next to the bed (4ft away), then to the other side of the room (about 20ft away). This arrangement is not nearly as inconvenient as one might think and comes in really handy for a mother who plans on nursing her children past their first year. In such circumstances, this arrangement is actually more convenient. In our new home, our son sleeps just on the other side of our bedroom door (but usually ends up in our bed at about 6am each morning anyway). Frankly, we have grown accustomed to him being nearby and we like it that way for now.

It should not be assumed that, once a couple discovers there is a baby on the way, they must shop around for a two-bedroom home. Sharing a room with your child may not work for everyone, but it's at least worth a shot. You can all be perfectly comfortable sharing a bedroom for a very long time, before you ever need to consider "upscaling." And, when the time comes to shop around...

2. Reconsider "bedroom."

Why does a toddler (or a preschooler, for that matter) need a large bedroom? I can understand a parent's desire to create a space unique to their child. (I feel that desire, too.) But, is a separate room really necessary? Take a quick search through home design blogs and you'll find examples of excellent kids' space built into closets, attics, breakfast nooks, lofts, and other odd places. A child can be afforded plenty of privacy, seclusion, and creativity in any sort of space, regardless of size. (This includes even tiny outdoor spaces, which are often overlooked when it comes to providing space for kids.) When did our idea of "bedroom" expand to include a private library, playroom, bathroom, and walk-in closet? With a little creativity, any extra bit of space can be transformed into a bedroom for a small child! And, when all else fails...

3. Think "Bunkhouse."

I grew up in a house where both me and my two brothers each had our own bedroom, so I understand the desire for individuality, privacy, and space. And I know that there are many benefits to living in a large home--especially when considering entertaining guests. But, just because there are benefits to each family member having individual private space, we shouldn't feel like we are neglecting our kids by making them share their bedrooms. In fact, it might be in their better interest to learn to share space now, before they find themselves in their freshman year at college, fighting with their new roommate over whose job it is to wash the window.

I've seen some amazing ideas online for shared bedrooms for kids--everything from a preschooler sharing with a newborn, to preteen siblings (a brother and sister, nonetheless) learning to give each other space in a room where space is limited, to four sisters sharing a room well into their teens. From my own experience, thinking of the friends I've known throughout my life who have siblings, it seems that most shared their room at some point in time. I might venture to say that, with some exceptions, most would not have had it any other way. Sharing a bedroom teaches children cooperation, consideration, and aids in bonding. Think: summer camp every day.

Sure, there are some sisters who end up as enemies from childhood spats in their shared room; and there are certainly stories I would have rather not heard about shared boys' rooms. But, we all need to learn to share space eventually and we shouldn't feel guilty if we start our kids young. Heck, they might end up as best friends because of it!



I guess my point is pretty simple:

If we think that a growing families necessitates a growing home (which often insinuates moving out of the city), we are missing out on the ways we can adapt the space we currently have to meet our growing needs.

Why can't a family of four be comfortable in a two-bedroom home?
Why can't a family of six live in a three-bedroom home?

I know that there are obvious caveats to this: to keep the average person sane, there must be at least some private space or some way to get away from the others--a quiet reading nook, a cozy bathroom, a backyard patio. So, that's where creativity comes in!

What's the coolest space adaption you've seen a family make?

Photo credits:
1. Apartment Therapy
2. oh happy day
3. Cookie Mag

Summer is Over?

Wait!

Today was the first day of class at Cincinnati Public Schools and I'm amazed. Has Summer really passed by so quickly? Did school start this early for me when I was a child?

I've noticed recently how slowly I seem to be moving compared to my surroundings.
Maybe it's my lack of media consumption that keeps me out of the loop;
Maybe it's the constant attention I give to my toddler;
Maybe it's my husband's busy building schedule;
Maybe it's our move from busy Vine St. to this quiet, tree-lined street five blocks away.

In addition to the start of the school year, which always signifies the official end of Summer to me, downtown Cincinnati--and Over-the-Rhine, specifically--seems to be moving very fast. New restaurants; new shops; new neighbors. It's enough to make a girl like myself yell, "Stop! I just can't keep up!" I swear, even though I leave the house every day and walk these streets, I cannot seem to move quickly enough to participate in all the excitement!

More often than not, in conversations with other young parents who live outside the city, I hear a lot of "Oh... I wish I could move into the city, but...." And then they elaborate on one of many (sometimes legitimate) reasons why moving into the city is unrealistic for their family.

To them, I say that there could not be a better time for young families to move into the City of Cincinnati.

Heck, I will go so far as to say that there has never been a better time to live downtown.

(And this is not the idealism of a brand new resident speaking. I've lived in OTR the better part of three years and worked here the two years before that. Even though I may not be a long-term resident yet, I'm definitely not new to the scene.)


It's an exciting time to be in Cincinnati, no?

I only wish I had more time to spend with neighbors, make new friends, eat new foods, buy new goods, and take it all in. Maybe as the weather cools, time will slow down a bit and I will get a chance to really inhabit our great city.

Happy end of Summer, folks!
Maybe I'll catch up with you in the Fall?

Read This: Suburban vs City Living costs

According to a recent article in the New York Times, most families will actually save money by choosing to live in New York City rather than moving to the suburbs once they have children.

There are a few caveats:
- The cost of paying for private schooling in lieu of public city schools changes the numbers quite drastically.
- The article presumes that the working parent(s) work in the city.
- As stated in the article, sometimes ideology or suburban lifestyle trumps affordability for growing families and they leave the city anyway.

You can read the full article here.

I would love to see the same article written for Cincinnati. My presumption is that the numbers would be the same: for a family whose working parent(s) work in the city, they would save money by living nearer to work. This should be common sense, no?

Maybe I'll write that article, all numbers and statistics included.

Thoughts?

Urban Revitalization

A few weeks ago, I represented my organization by sitting on a panel for a Give Back Cincinnati "Sounding Session." The topic was urban revitalization. I was supposed to be representing the nonprofit perspective on what it takes to revitalize a community, what stands in the way, and how an individual can help the cause in their community. I may have had a few things to say as a "professional," but I actually walked away with more personal reflection than anything else. In fact, I've been thinking about the topic ever since.

A few thoughts on the issue:

- One of the biggest deterrents to urban revitalization is both the transient nature of many would-be urban dwellers and a city's neglect of amenities that would encourage long-term commitment from residents. Because of the rapid life changes that many residents will go through (college graduation, first jobs, marriage, first child, third child, retirement, etc.), they feel the need to move to a different neighborhood every five years to accommodate those changes. Whether it is the sheer absence of single-family residences, a lack of greenspace and natural areas, parking issues, or safety concerns, most families would not consider living in the same location where they rented their first college apartment. And most residents are simply unwilling to commit to staying put in a community where they are not certain they will be comfortable in 25 years. I believe that the issue here is as much imagined as it is realistic, which leads me to my next point...

- Perceived issues are sometimes more a deterrent than real issues. For example, people may believe it's impractical to live in downtown Cincinnati because "there is no place to buy groceries," but they are wrong in their assumption. And even if they were correct, it would be no more difficult to drive from their downtown home to the nearest large grocery store than it would be for them to drive from their Mason home to the nearest grocery store. In fact, it might be nearer to them and take less time. Another example is the popular notion of how "terrible" the schools are. Not only is this an improper assumption, but it is irrelevant given that in Cincinnati parents can send their children to the public school of their choice, anywhere in the city. All it takes is some ingenuity and effort on the part of the parents and their children can have the same quality education as a child who lives next door to Fairview German School or Walnut Hills High School. (And don't even get me started on the ridiculous notion that once a couple decides to have a child, it is time for them to move to a new subdivision on the outskirts of town, where all the families live. UGH!)

- Poor housing and real estate stock is a serious deterrent to revitalization. There is often a shortage of single-family homes in urban areas and, even where there are homes, parking is an issue. In addition, most parents want a backyard for their children and would even settle for a small, fenced courtyard if given the option. But, concrete reigns supreme instead. In many lower-income areas, beautiful single-family residences have been chopped into poorly-maintained and tastelessly-renovated multi-family buildings (Cincinnati's Avondale neighborhood is a prime example of this). In addition, many vacant buildings cannot be developed because they are owned by absentee landlords who are either slumlords or speculators.

- Quality and diversity of commerce is important for the revitalization of a community. One common theme that I heard at the Sounding Session was that residents and visitors want to see and support businesses that can only be found there, in that community. Sometimes we call these "Mom and Pop" businesses and they are sometimes the best thing drawing people and money to an area. I will add to this, though, that the mere presence of these businesses is not enough. Residents must continue to support them financially on a regular basis. (See the 3/50 Project website for more a comprehensive writing on this issue.)

- No one person, family, or business can revitalize a community alone. In order for a community to experience real renewal, it must be a cooperative task between neighbors, friends, and organizations. In my exercises in community organizing for work, I have seen that the issue of cooperation (or lack-there-off) can really make or break a community. First, those in control of community resources (money, real estate, connections, etc.) must consider the shared vision of those in the entire community or either watch their single vision die or become an unwelcome guest. Now, add to this every person's need for deep and authentic relationships. This makes it simply impossible for one entity to accomplish anything great alone, unless they have the support of those around them. I have all sorts of crazy ideas related to this issue, but I won't go into it now.


All in all, this entire issue of "revitalization" is huge and impossible to conquer in one conversation or one blog post. In fact, most people who dedicate their lives to seeing their community revitalized may not witness the fruits of their effort in their lifetime. This is, indeed, big work. And this issue quickly becomes a battle of ideologies, ethics, culture, and politics, which so often ends the conversation entirely.

Suffice to say this (for now):

I have committed myself to never simply residing in my community.
If I am not somehow benefiting it--creating something, bringing something new to life (or bringing something dead back to life), making it safer or stronger, or more beautiful, then I am a waste of space and have surrendered my rights as a resident of the community.



So, I suppose this is where the real conversation begins:

What are you doing to bring your community to life?

About Cincinnati and how I ended up here.

According to the source of all human knowledge (Wikipedia):

Cincinnati is a city in the U.S. state of Ohio and the county seat of Hamilton County. The municipality is located north of the Ohio River at the Ohio-Kentucky border. The population within city limits was 333,336 in 2008, making it the state's third largest city. In 2008, the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area had a population of 2,155,137 making it the largest MSA in Ohio, and the 24th most populous in the United States. Residents of Cincinnati are called Cincinnatians.

Cincinnati is considered to have been the first American boomtown in the heart of the country in the early nineteenth century to rival the larger coastal cities in size and wealth. As the first major inland city in the country, it is sometimes thought of as the first purely American city, lacking the heavy European influence that was present on the east coast. However, by the end of the nineteenth century, Cincinnati's growth had slowed considerably, and the city was surpassed in population by many other inland cities...

Cincinnati is also known for having one of the larger collections of nineteenth-century Italianate architecture in the U.S., primarily concentrated just north of Downtown in an area known as Over-the-Rhine. Over-the-Rhine is one of the largest historic districts listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

Read the full article here.

How did I end up Cincinnati?

I grew up in the near southwest suburbs of Chicago, in a small city called Palos Heights. I am a bonafide Midwesterner, with the first eighteen years of my life contained within the southern half of the Chicagoland area, and summers spent between our family's small lake cottage in southwestern Michigan and a camp in the northwoods of Wisconsin. Until I was about sixteen years old and allowed brief day trips downtown with my brothers or friends, my experience of real urban life was limited to school field trips, visits with friends who lived nearer to the city, and the occasional family drive downtown.

I attended college at a small university in Elgin, IL, a city 40 miles west of Chicago and ten times the size of my hometown. Elgin is not exactly a booming metropolis, but it's a city nonetheless. With it's official population hovering around 100,000, off the record are the (I'm guessing) thousands of illegal immigrants and hundreds of homeless that live there. The city, at the time I lived there, was almost a Little Mexico, with just as many signs in Spanish as there are were English, and Cinco de Mayo was a hell of a party in town.

The summer before our senior year of college, two friends and I moved into a small loft on Chicago St. My bedroom was extremely cold in the winter, hot in the summer, and we could hear everything our downstairs neighbor did (and smell every drug he smoked). We were on the third floor, two stories above a tattoo shop, nextdoor to the YWCA, two doors from the public parking garage (where we parked), and a few blocks from the public library. Our favorite bar--The Gasthaus--was three blocks away, my bank was on the corner, Akina's was a few blocks away if we wanted Thai food, and so was Al's Cafe (for sandwiches and milkshakes). We walked down to Cafe Magdelina for wine and creme brulee, and I rode my bike to the grocery store (where half the signs were in Spanish) for groceries. I bought fresh cookies at one of the local Mexican bakeries and I shopped for gifts at Keeney's--the old-school sporting goods store with a treasure trove of vintage goods in the basement. I worked at a local coffee shop and rode my bike to summer classes. I took the train--from the station on the river--to Chicago.

Elgin may not be a booming metropolis, but I loved it there.
After growing up in a neighborhood where the more urban areas 10 miles away were considered "dangerous," Elgin liberated me of my suburban bias. I experienced what much of the rest of the world experiences--loud streets, street parking, public transportation, homeless neighbors, etc.

In the summer of 2005, in an effort to sustain a oft-wavering relationship (that ultimately failed), I moved to Cincinnati. My first apartment was a tiny, 2-room, studio in the back of a house. In the unit next door lived another local musician. I had a separate entrance with a little patio and a plum tree outside my window. I slept on a loft built into the corner of the living room, and survived the misery of my first hot, humid Cincinnati summer without A/C. The apartment was in the Northside neighborhood of the city and I lived a block off of the main street, where I could find just about anything I needed--veggies, beer, ice cream, breakfast, an indie flick, records, or vintage clothes. I think the only thing Northside doesn't have is a full-service grocery store, but one of the best ones in the city is only a 5 minute drive away.

After a year in Northside, I moved to Norwood to live with some friends in the same neighborhood as our church community. I lived there--without the amenities of a hip, urban life but surrounded by the same urban blight--for almost two years.

Then I got myself married and moved to Over-the-Rhine.

My husband and I are now almost a year and a half into our marriage and almost 8 months into parenthood. We rent a large loft apartment north of Liberty St., in a part of OTR that hasn't yet been gifted with the development that our neighbors below Liberty have. In the next year, we hope to purchase our first house. For now, we invest a lot of time and energy in improving our apartment in whatever ways we can, for as little as we can, so that the hostility of the neighborhood doesn't seep into our home.

The city is a difficult place to live.
I am the first to admit this.

My husband and I sometimes dream of a rural homestead, a place where our family can have some privacy, peace & quiet, and be surrounding by natural spaces instead of concrete. And we often admit to each other that the suburbs have a certain charm--clean sidewalks, backyards, and friendly neighbors. But we have, at least for the time being, committed to living as near downtown as possible. We believe that the city needs families and that families need each other, so we've put ourselves in a position to be a part of a renaissance that calls families back to our urban core. I can't guarantee how long our time in Cincinnati will last, but for the time I'm here, I have chosen to dive head-first into my new hometown.

I want to share the wonderful things I've discovered about my city and the life that cities in general offer. Maybe I can paint a picture of city living the way it's supposed to be--vibrant, creative, friendly, and POSSIBLE--so that someday, I can call you my neighbor.

Thanks for reading!